A Public Apology, part II

2007-07-13T10:38:00.001-07:00

After more thorough and clear-headed recollection, we would like to expand our earlier apology to K to include the creative stacking of house- and table-wares that may or may not have resulted in a small mess. The Schmindys endeavour to use better judgment in the future.

A Public Apology

2007-07-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

The Schmindies would like to apologise unreservedly to K for any roughhousing, caterwaul or horseplay that may have taken place in the corridors of her lovely building. With Thursday being the new Friday and Wednesday the new Thursday and a weekend without off-night on deck The Schmindies perhaps got a little excited. We sincerely apologise and invite K to hurl a pump in the hall of Schmindy at her earliest convenience.

Please, Be Gentle With My Bush

2007-07-12T14:41:00.001-07:00

As our many readers are just getting know us here at theschimdies, I feel it is appropriate to lay out from the start our feelings on some of the larger issues facing all of us in America today, as well as those in American territories such as Canada and in unidentified protectorates such as everywhere else on Earth. It is in this spirit that my first contribution as a Schmindy will be a defense of our great president, George Walker Bush.

"Defense from what?" you might ask, and fair enough. Surely a Man, nay Titan so highly evolved, so sophisticated, so resolute, so eloquent and persuasive as GWB can stand just fine on His own, and has no need for a co-Titan (that's me) to take His licks for Him. Unfortunately however the assault on decency has come from so many corners that I feel compelled to stand up and take some of the heat off of the President, lest His clear and noble message of freedom, guns, liberty, freedom and death for all the world be diminished.

For instance, I began my research for this piece where all responsible journalists and scholars alike look first for credible information, Wikipedia. I was horrified to discover that even Wikipedia, that bastion of high-minded and unimpeachable analysis, had entitled a chapter of its George W Bush entry thusly:

I know. I get angry too. And that's not even the end of it.

Some slanderous news outlets have stated that only one in four approve of His job as President. Hogwash though it might be, even that number is deceptive. For example, if you ask four schmindies to go have a couple of beers, and three say "I might go to bed - I've got work in the morning" you can still get hammered with Madden.

Finally, some communists, homosexuals, and people from Vermont have dared to imply that the President ingested excessive quantities of alcohol and cocaine during the 1970s and 1980s. The notion is so absurd that it barely deserves to be refuted, except to point out that during the time when He was supposedly a godless reprobate He was losing money running the Family oil business, losing money as the Owner of a losing baseball team, and losing an election to the US House of Representatives. Clearly He would not have enjoyed such success as a drug addict and alcoholic devil-worshipper. Case closed.

In conclusion, it will henceforth be the editorial policy of theschmindies to harangue any critic or detractor of the President as a defiler of God Himself. There will be no mercy, so please, lay off my Bush.

The Oister

A Public Apology, part II

A Public Apology

Please, Be Gentle With My Bush